I’m having one of those moments.  I don’t know if I can’t sleep, or if I don’t want to sleep.  Part of me wants to stay up all night, just because I can.  I wonder why I don’t want to just go lay in bed, close my eyes.  My thoughts have been a riot of emotions lately, bouncing back and forth.  Not enough to worry me yet, but enough that I have my guard up.  My word seem to be coming faster than my brain can keep up with, my filters failing me a little.  I’ve almost slipped at work a few times, said things I shouldn’t have.  I need to focus more, repress the worse parts of my personality.  Remember that not everyone can handle it, not everyone should have to.  Tone it down, keep it low key.  Must focus.  Words are getting away from me again, I’m straying topics, going off on tangents.  Not thinking anymore, just typing, letting what comes out, out.  Last night, I couldn’t wait to get in bed, now I’m trying to put it off as long as possible.  I think I’m going to have bad dreams again tonight.  I don’t want to let that happen.  They’ve had a common theme lately, and I don’t like it. I try not to read too much into them, most of the time I can explain them away with rational reasoning, but this is too much.  I don’t want this to be true.